Three Gorgeous Women Try to Pick Up Rusty in a Bar

in Mishaps,The Sexes,Travel

Now before you get too carried away, it must be pointed out that Rusty, no matter what his life is like, tries to keep the Adventures of Rusty Waters somewhere between a PG and an R rating.  By that we are not saying that anything on this site is suitable for the weak minded or children of all ages.  Nonetheless, we will try to tell this tale with at least a modicum of gentility.

It was way back during one of Rusty’s first out-of-state business trips, before knowing all the tricks of travel.  Rusty had gotten up hours before his very early flight to be sure he’d be on time.  Arriving thousands of miles away in a city he’d never visited before, Rusty grabbed a map and got in his rental car.

Everything was going quite smoothly as he made it into town, checked into the hotel, and left his baggage in the room before heading off to meetings.  It was a great day as Rusty met with some of the top lawyers who toured him through their law offices, showed him bit of the town and a delightful dinner at one of the fancier eateries, even treating him to a very nice vintage wine.  After dinner Rusty headed back to the hotel with the feeling that the day was at once full, productive, and altogether satisfying.

It was a medium-sized town that likely was not really bustling at any time of year, but seemed particularly quiet this evening.  Although Rusty should’ve been tired, he was infused with energy at the perfection of the day and decided to take a stroll around the hotel.  In the lobby there was the distinct sound of live jazz.  Ever curious, Rusty poked his head into the cozy bar to find it completely devoid of customers.  The band seemed hardly to notice, completely engrossed in their music.

Rusty, not tired and feeling a little sorry for the band playing to an empty room, decided to have a seat and listen for a few minutes.  Not really intending to stay long, Rusty hadn’t even planned on having anything to drink, but a cheery barmaid changed his mind quickly with an offer of a house special on one of their new wines.

Rusty had hardly been three minutes in the bar when a trio of young ladies entered, dressed like they were on their way to a fancy club.  One had to smile at them as they sat down, a perfect trio, one blonde one brunette and one redhead.  They were in cocktail dresses that were short and tight, but not overly sleazy looking either.  Each of the girls looked like she had spent a long time just on her hair much less the makeup and picking out just the right accessories.  For a second Rusty wondered if it was too much wine that night, but blinking his eyes and hearing their conversation just barely from the other side of the room over the Jazz he realized they were for real.  Rusty sat there lost in thought; wondering what these three girls could be up to on a weeknight in a virtually empty bar and particularly wondering why they seem fixated on Rusty’s every move.

Trying not to stare, Rusty fixed his eyes on the musicians for the next few moments while taking furtive glances across the room, noticing the girls talking animatedly amongst themselves but watching Rusty rather than each other.  They all ordered martinis and toasted each other, still watching Rusty.

A little shy at being talked about by this trio, Rusty was taken aback when all of a sudden the blonde stood up, took her martini and began walking purposefully toward Rusty.  She walked right up to Rusty’s side, almost brushing her shapely hips against his elbow, even a bit too close for comfortable conversation as Rusty had to look past part of her anatomy to see her eyes.  She introduced herself as Suzanne, asking Rusty his name.  Before he could utter a word, her next line took Rusty somewhat aback, “Do you know what time it is?”

An odd question thought Rusty, since he had noticed she was wearing a rather large gold wristwatch that appeared to be in working order.  (Did we mention she was blonde?).  Not wishing to appear rude by directing her to her watch but rather to be helpful, Rusty cheerily informed her that it was about 9:42 PM.  Susanne seemed overly thankful for this small bit of help and immediately asked Rusty if she could sit down for a moment.  Hardly one to deny such a request, Rusty nodded motioning to the chair across the table.  Before the chivalrous Rusty could jump up to help her, she determined the chair needed to be moved right next to Rusty and did it herself.  In the blink of an eye, her chair was touching Rusty and they faced each other at a 45° angle knees almost touching.

The more Rusty studied her, the more remarkable he found her visage.  The dress seemed not to be just formfitting but virtually sewn on her.  It was a royal blue satin without a lot of frills but masterfully cut low in the front and tight enough that it needed a little slit in the side so she could walk.  The dress was complemented by the perfection of her hair and makeup.  One almost could not tell if mascara had been applied to each individual eyelash or if she had just been born with what most girls would kill for.  Even at close range there were no blemishes on the skin which seemed to glow under the soft lights.  Her lips looked and moved as if they were some strange wet gel.  The usually critical Rusty could find no imperfections before him.

Susanne leaned forward sipping her martini and asking Rusty a plethora of questions-everything from where he lived to when he got into town and what type of business he was in.  Almost as fast as Rusty answered one question, she asked another.  Rusty could hardly get a word in edgewise to find out exactly what she was up to.

With each question she moved almost imperceptibly closer and closer to Rusty.  Her voice became quieter, smoother, and softer.  Her knee was now touching Rusty’s knee and her fluffy blonde bangs seemed like they were about to make contact with Rusty’s forehead.  She had a powerful but not overbearing perfume that seemed to swirl around Rusty’s head.  The cloud of her perfume was pierced only by her warm sweet breath upon which was the distinct smell of martini.  Rusty remembers thinking right at that moment, “This bartender is a little heavy-handed with the vermouth”.

Thoughts raced through Rusty’s head.  He could think of many things she might be leading toward, but which?  Always moving toward Rusty, never backing off, even a speck, Suzanne lifted her well manicured hand and placed it softly on Rusty’s forearm.  She rubbed his arm ever so softly and whispered, “Rusty may I ask you a very personal question?”  Taken somewhat aback, but powerless under the wine, the scent of the perfume and vermouth, and the closeness of her huge blue eyes, Rusty could do nothing but nod, “Of course Suzanne.”

Right at this moment, Rusty noticed out of the corner of his eye that Suzanne’s two accomplices were up and, with martini glasses in tow, headed his way.  At this point Rusty’s mind was in that particular condition which causes so many men so much trouble; totally, utterly and completely blank. Of all the wild and possible scenarios that had flashed through Rusty’s mind, her question was not even vaguely contemplated.

Suzanne, slowly batted her eyes, sensuously touched her tongue to those martini whetted lips and squeezing Rusty’s arm inquired, “Rusty, have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?”  Rusty thinks his eyes may have completely crossed at that moment.

Apparently Suzanne and her friends trolled the bars for lonely, lost souls who might want to accompany them to a Bible meeting held on a rotation at their houses once a week the night after their trolling.  Not wanting to appear cavalier, still enjoying the close-up view, and needing to verify this was not some bizarre practical joke, Rusty talked to the trio another 15 minutes on the subject.

Another chance at saving Rusty’s immortal soul blown to Hell.

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